An Introduction to AWESOME

HEY there silly kid! It's like Tuesday (what how why where am I), and I've got a coooool new video for you. My friend Linda filmed some very cool Minneapolis things for me not too long ago and I am finally getting around to editing them into a new youtube series called Mo' Gluten, Mo' Problems. It's awesome. I would know because I'm in it, I'm editing it, and playa, cuz' it just IZ. I'm going to stop this silly vernacular now.

Here's the video. It is merely an introductory puzzle piece in the grand scene of awesome gluten free dining and fun city happenings. Cuz I'm hip as shit. Hehe I'm not like a regular mom; I'm a cool mom!

ONCE AGAIN sidetracked. Anyway, here you go. Enjoy the shit out of this. And check back for more. Subscribe to my youtube channel. Watch ScrunchieTime too. Just continue to grow as a person. I don't know. Take a nap maybe also.

Gracias, my fellow karate kid. 

Thursday Party: Questionnaire 4 Thugs

Hello. Apparently this is becoming a "Thursday" thing. That's pretty cool. I like Thursdays. I like Tuesdays and Saturdays, too. Fridays are too mainstream.

Anyway, I decided that I wanted to make a questionnaire for myself to answer. Maybe I should find one on the INTERNET. That might be easier. Bahhh I'm already here, I'll just come up with mein own questions. I want questions that are sort of "in the moment" type questions where it's like OMG that was my favorite movie 6 months ago...when I read this six months from now. Shit like that. You get it, OKAY.


1. Favorite movie. The Shining. Or A Clockwork Orange. Fucking Stanley Kubrick. Good heavens to hell, he is a GD genius. I watched The Shining a couple weeks ago and although I'd seen it before, it really hit me hard this time around. The imagery, the camera angles, Jack Nicholson, and that distinctively "Kubrick" feel just tore my brain in two and then rebuilt it into a magical, blood-flood of possibility and promise.

And can we talk about A Clockwork Orange as well? OOFTA. My dear friend Linda and I saw a midnight showing of it in Uptown Minneapolis at the most beautiful theatre. (I spell theater that way when I want to be pretentious.) It's a decently long film, and it was very late; however, I was so drawn into the film that nothing could break my focus with the violent, sex-crazed, sardonic, and edgy film unfolding before my eyes. Needless to say, the Anthony Burgess novel is in my amazon cart and waiting to be purchased.

2. Favorite music stuffs. I can't make this question too specific, because my favorite song/artist of the moment changes, as you might guess, from one moment to the next. I really like M.I.A.'s song Karmageddon from her latest album. Iggy Azalea is obviously amazing. And I made a seriously lovely playlist on the spotify. It's called "It's that thing where a tiny milk man breaks into a cat infested lodge" in homage to Stephon on Weekend Update. I know that the stuff you make is always inherently better to your own self than to others (not unlike childbearing), but this playlist seems like a universal love-thing.

3. Favorite phrase. I cannot stop saying "Whateva Banana." I don't know what it means, but I love it. I'm going to make t-shirts and coffee mugs, don't you fret. It is my "fetch."

4. Favorite clothery. Scarves. Beanies. Boots. Winter is here and I am pumped like a pimp. A warm, cozy, adorable pimp.

5. Favorite hobby. Video editing is fun. I would have never ever thought that would be my thing, but I can't get enough of it. I took the wrong sorts of classes in cooollege. Whateva banana, ya know? And reading. I'm reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas because I'm in search of the American Dream. Lulllz jkjk. But seriously, I aspire to be Hunter S. Thompson.

6. Favorite mind-grow. Ooh, that's a fun way to talk about learning/knowledge building things...mind-grow. It's like I'm in 1984, eh? Anywho, I love the YOUTUBE. Sex+ is incredible. Vlogbrothers, obviously. Pixiwoo still. Sonia's Travels cuz SPAIN in 40 days! And then, anything I can watch about video, sound, editing, camerawork, and things of that persuasion is dollar signs amazing.

I have quickly learned that having a static existence is literally the most terrifying thing I can imagine. If I had a job where I did the same things every day and all I could do was sit idle as I wasted away in an office doing menial tasks, sinking deeply into a cushioned chair until my ass became one with the polyester, working with a tired mind, muddled with monotony... death by routine. That's a thing.

As long as I keep growing, keep expanding, keep learning, I'll be okay.

Thursday, bitches.

It's Thursday here on WEIRD KARATE, and you know what that means! Karate Kid is not as cool, sassy, or as wearable as Grace Helbig. And for that, I offer NO apology. Lol for days. I am extremely apologetic; however, I do ask that you stick around for this groundbreaking post. Let's jump right in! Knees first! What? I don't know.

Me and my friend, Lola.

1. I am constantly craving bloody mary's. I think it's just the sodium and full bodied awesomeness? I don't question it. Sometimes, you just have to trust your body and its needs, mom.

2. My cat is getting a winter coat. So, he looks plump and extra fluffy. And I like both of those things about him.

3. My favorite color for early winter is that raspberry-maroon color that everyone and their grandma is carrying. I AM MERELY A PUPPET OF TRENDS.

4. I like putting cool shit on my face... Makeup-wise. Watch some pixiwoo videos on the youtube. You'll be like BRITISH. And then you'll be like OKAY GIRL, YOU DO SOME GOOD MAKEUP.

5. I do weird things for my job. If you would have told me 5, shit even 1 year ago, that part of my job would consist of filming and editing videos, I would have shot you in the face with my witchcraft abilities. Oops, someone has been watching American Horror Story.

Alright, I think that's good for the day. THANKS for your time and things. Go watch some of my horse videos if you want. I'd prefer you watch Scrunchie Time, but girl, I get it. You get yo bloody mary where you need it. I'm going to stop writing. Goodbye and good riddance.

SCRUNCHIE TIME: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbrcrkLeIzORHhnzFEgip_w

KARA WHATEVUH: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRteBwCekV0AJQKqcKmSvxA

-KARATE BITCH

Revelations on a Monday

This morning, my ex-roommate sent me a quote. She's in Spain. I am stuck here. I hate that I use the word "stuck." That's everyone's excuse, isn't it? 

"Oh, I've got too much baggage to move. No, not literally." 

"I'm not talented enough to start over. Plus, that's a lot of work." 

"I can't just leave--all the plants will die!"

Well, I don't want it to be MY excuse anymore. I'm 23. Not 83. Not 13. Really any age besides 23.... Anyway, what ties my shoes together? What grounds my person and buries my dreams? Stability? No, that's not it. Commitment? No, not that either. Fear? Meh. Initiative? There it is. Trying something new and big takes courage. It takes strength and confidence and the right amount of crazy to go for it, but what is the alternative?

It appears that I have completely strayed from the original reason for this post--THE QUOTE. So, here it is. Far more eloquently stated and inspiring, here is Jon Krakauer's take on going for it.

"Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.” ― Jon Krakauer

Gluten Free 4 Life

DISCLAIMER: Okay okay okay, new stuff coming. First, this blog was music. Then it was music + life. And NOW, it is going to be music + life + food + travel. Girl, I could not be more excited about it. 

I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease just over three years ago, something that I had absolutely no idea existed before that moment, and since then, my relationship with food has changed unbelievably. From that point, I didn't eat at a restaurant for at least 8 months for fear of feeling the way I did prior to diet change and being unsure just how sensitive I was to even an accidental morsel of evil gluten slipping into my healing system. But as I gained awareness and knowledge of where gluten hung out in food and drinks, I found myself trying a new restaurant once in a while, googling their options online, and ultimately, being disappointed in the staff's complete lack of understanding in my "gluten thing." **Plain lettuce with lemon wedges, please.**

So, over these past three years, I've seen restaurant menus go from handwritten lists to laminated word documents to, oh wow, "it looks like a normal menu!" I'm getting "glutened" fewer and fewer times as I venture out into the glutenous world and into the treacherous realm of restaurant dining. But as I have more positive experiences, although a few really horrible ones are still sprinkled in there as well, I gain trust and confidence in my future as a human being who can enjoy a meal out with friends just as much as a person without Celiac Disease or a gluten intolerance.

But before I share some great g-free dining experiences in cities like Minneapolis (gluten free hub) and elsewhere, I want to share a few problematic things that have happened me more than once while attempting to have an enjoyable experience out on the town like a normal.

TOP REASONS TO SIGH ABOUT DINING OUT

1. "Hi, do you have a gluten free menu?"

"Okay, so, we don't have a menu per say, but mostly all of our items can be made gluten free."

2. "I'm allergic to wheat, so no croutons or bread with my salad, okay?"

***Salad arrives with a croutons partying all over it.***

3. "Do you guys have a gluten free menu?"

"I'm sorry, what do you want for free?"

4. The wallpaper at Panera Bread literally has, "gluten" strewn about with other comforting words like "bread" and "fresh."

5. "Do you have a gluten free menu?"

"It's actually included in the menu on the second page towards the bottom." 

(points to section with two items.)

6. When a menu tricks you into thinking they have tons of options. 

"Look, you can have all of the burgers!" 

"Yeah, the asterisk says without bun, sweet potato fries, seasoning, or spicy chipotle sauce. So, basically it's a shitty hamburger patty."

A 23-year-old Promise

Before we go any further down this theoretical journey of "life," I want a promise. I want it in writing. So, that's what I'm doing. A formal promise from my naïve, immature, idiotic, ill-informed, dance deprived 23-year-old self. READY YOURSELF, boo.

A Bold Introduction:
Hello. This is Karate Larson. It's 2013 and I'm really shaping into "something." (As you can tell, sarcasm is still a big part of how I communicate) Anyway, I was reading or watching something the other day and I thought to myself, HEY, I don't want to be that person who lives a life confined to a box of routine and comfort. I don't want to (prepare for cliché) live a life I'm not proud to say is my own. I know the 50-year-old sad sack of myself will just never forgive this 23-year-old chump if I don't live up my youth and general recklessness. So, future Kara, this is my formal promise to build, create, and grow. We can get into more details of this "life" I'm planning, but for now, I just want to introduce the idea.


Hello, Idiot.
Look at you, reading into the second paragraph. I'm glad you're still interested because THIS IS YOUR LIFE. I am going to separate the upcoming promises in a very mediocre way (organization has never been my "thing"). Try not to let that trip you up, dear and dramatic self, keep reading and considering every one of these. You have no choice. Because what's the alternative? Being the lame kid at the party who still sucks at the teet of his trusted routine? I know I'm a girl, but a boy just seemed to fit the bill for that analogy. Oh mama, I've gone too far to turn back now. Let's just jump in before I lose you entirely.


1. Can she build it? Yes, Karate can! These silly and completely original words open up my first point in this masterpiece/complete mess. Want to know cool I am? I watched the Ashton Kutcher Teen Choice Awards speech on the way to work the other morning because I needed to hear some damn positivity from a beautiful man. And I don't care what Demi says, I love him and everything he has to say in that 4 minute motivational utterance. So combining sweet Ashton's (well, actually Chris's) advice on "building a life," which he got from something Steve Jobs said (nothing like trickling down the line to make a point), I now think of everything in terms of not just living a life as another insignificant empty head, but building a life for others to share with and grow into, and creating something in which I am truly proud. So, that's number one--to quit sulking in my current static and start thinking bigger, broader, and more creatively. BUILD something, karate.

2. Move. Get out, man. When is the last time you were truly scared and completely putting yourself in a situation where you were like, "geez Louise. What the hell am I doing. I'm a crazy kitty!" I'm fairly positive that I've known you for a good portion of my life (we are the same person, you damn fool). Anyway, where do you want to go? California, New York, Arkansas? Please don't go to Arkansas. It might be cool if you had a job lined up in this new place, but hey, if you don't, that's cool too. You do you, boo.

3. Make an intensely creative job application. If you want to get noticed, do something great. Seems simple, yes? What's holding you back? Oh, nothing? Wow, okay cool DO IT THEN.

4. Write. Write. Write. Right? Remember how athletes practice to get better? Fill in the blank.

5. Content and Comfortable are sworn enemies. Like the Lannisters. Shit, I do love Tyrion though. And man, even Jaime is growing on me. Oops, I've slipped into the Game of Thrones haven't I? Well, let's move on hmm. Okay, back to the bold stuff. Just because these things give you a temporary feeling of "having your shit together," let me assure you, it's a façade. These won't make you happy. You need turbulence and complexity and weird to keep growing and evolving as a person.

6. Expand your damn mind. Read the novels you own before you buy any more, watch your favorite television programs for a daily fix of passivity, read online articles about the health benefits of cucumbers, the woes of dating, or religion in Russia, watch YouTube videos--I'm only asking that you soak in what technology affords you to enjoy. With so much content in the world, it would be an absolute shame to not do your best to absorb it ALL.

7. Do you. Girl, take what others' art gives you and CREATE what feels good, frees your stresses, and centers your person. Uh oh, someone is getting a little too yoga-granola-mother earth on this one.

8. Travel. You're 23. Do I need to argue this any further? Go visit your old roommate in Spain. Get lost in Paris. See the roses in Portland. A sedentary life is one not meant for you.

9. Find a place you love and work for them. Remember when you made that hilarious/innovative/inspiring job application? Well, here's the time to send it to this organization or company or publishing house or creative hub or whatever it may be. It's about time you find a place that fulfills your desire for a mutualistic work environment.

10. Don't be afraid. That was easy to write. Much harder to do in the real life party time zone. The only thing truly standing between my 23-year-old self and every single one of these promises is fear. A four letter word never broke so many hearts. But honestly, what do I really fear? Failure? I don't think so. Rejection? Not that I'm aware. I think I fear the idea more than anything, so hey, that's stupid.


In Hopeful Conclusion
GIRL, look how far you made it! Literacy! Do the ten things above. You just have to. 50-year-old Karate (old and saggy, but still throwing theme parties) will never forgive you if you don't. I'm counting on you and so is this life you still have the chance to build. As my favorite movie character of all time (William Miller, Almost Famous) once questioned, "when and where does this real world occur?" I often inquire the same. But really, it's always been here. And even though I like to view things through my rose-tinted glasses, evading reality, and dancing in the dreamland of the harmless and delicious cookies, it is one that I have to face. So, here we are--23, dramatic, complicated, and confused--you're going to be okay.