Gluten Free 4 Life

DISCLAIMER: Okay okay okay, new stuff coming. First, this blog was music. Then it was music + life. And NOW, it is going to be music + life + food + travel. Girl, I could not be more excited about it. 

I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease just over three years ago, something that I had absolutely no idea existed before that moment, and since then, my relationship with food has changed unbelievably. From that point, I didn't eat at a restaurant for at least 8 months for fear of feeling the way I did prior to diet change and being unsure just how sensitive I was to even an accidental morsel of evil gluten slipping into my healing system. But as I gained awareness and knowledge of where gluten hung out in food and drinks, I found myself trying a new restaurant once in a while, googling their options online, and ultimately, being disappointed in the staff's complete lack of understanding in my "gluten thing." **Plain lettuce with lemon wedges, please.**

So, over these past three years, I've seen restaurant menus go from handwritten lists to laminated word documents to, oh wow, "it looks like a normal menu!" I'm getting "glutened" fewer and fewer times as I venture out into the glutenous world and into the treacherous realm of restaurant dining. But as I have more positive experiences, although a few really horrible ones are still sprinkled in there as well, I gain trust and confidence in my future as a human being who can enjoy a meal out with friends just as much as a person without Celiac Disease or a gluten intolerance.

But before I share some great g-free dining experiences in cities like Minneapolis (gluten free hub) and elsewhere, I want to share a few problematic things that have happened me more than once while attempting to have an enjoyable experience out on the town like a normal.

TOP REASONS TO SIGH ABOUT DINING OUT

1. "Hi, do you have a gluten free menu?"

"Okay, so, we don't have a menu per say, but mostly all of our items can be made gluten free."

2. "I'm allergic to wheat, so no croutons or bread with my salad, okay?"

***Salad arrives with a croutons partying all over it.***

3. "Do you guys have a gluten free menu?"

"I'm sorry, what do you want for free?"

4. The wallpaper at Panera Bread literally has, "gluten" strewn about with other comforting words like "bread" and "fresh."

5. "Do you have a gluten free menu?"

"It's actually included in the menu on the second page towards the bottom." 

(points to section with two items.)

6. When a menu tricks you into thinking they have tons of options. 

"Look, you can have all of the burgers!" 

"Yeah, the asterisk says without bun, sweet potato fries, seasoning, or spicy chipotle sauce. So, basically it's a shitty hamburger patty."