Tuesday, November 19, 2013

An Introduction to AWESOME

HEY there silly kid! It's like Tuesday (what how why where am I), and I've got a coooool new video for you. My friend Linda filmed some very cool Minneapolis things for me not too long ago and I am finally getting around to editing them into a new youtube series called Mo' Gluten, Mo' Problems. It's awesome. I would know because I'm in it, I'm editing it, and playa, cuz' it just IZ. I'm going to stop this silly vernacular now.

Here's the video. It is merely an introductory puzzle piece in the grand scene of awesome gluten free dining and fun city happenings. Cuz I'm hip as shit. Hehe I'm not like a regular mom; I'm a cool mom!


ONCE AGAIN sidetracked. Anyway, here you go. Enjoy the shit out of this. And check back for more. Subscribe to my youtube channel. Watch ScrunchieTime too. Just continue to grow as a person. I don't know. Take a nap maybe also.




Gracias, my fellow karate kid. 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Thursday Party: Questionnaire 4 Thugs

Hello. Apparently this is becoming a "Thursday" thing. That's pretty cool. I like Thursdays. I like Tuesdays and Saturdays, too. Fridays are too mainstream.

Anyway, I decided that I wanted to make a questionnaire for myself to answer. Maybe I should find one on the INTERNET. That might be easier. Bahhh I'm already here, I'll just come up with mein own questions. I want questions that are sort of "in the moment" type questions where it's like OMG that was my favorite movie 6 months ago...when I read this six months from now. Shit like that. You get it, OKAY.


1. Favorite movie. The Shining. Or A Clockwork Orange. Fucking Stanley Kubrick. Good heavens to hell, he is a GD genius. I watched The Shining a couple weeks ago and although I'd seen it before, it really hit me hard this time around. The imagery, the camera angles, Jack Nicholson, and that distinctively "Kubrick" feel just tore my brain in two and then rebuilt it into a magical, blood-flood of possibility and promise.



And can we talk about A Clockwork Orange as well? OOFTA. My dear friend Linda and I saw a midnight showing of it in Uptown Minneapolis at the most beautiful theatre. (I spell theater that way when I want to be pretentious.) It's a decently long film, and it was very late; however, I was so drawn into the film that nothing could break my focus with the violent, sex-crazed, sardonic, and edgy film unfolding before my eyes. Needless to say, the Anthony Burgess novel is in my amazon cart and waiting to be purchased.



2. Favorite music stuffs. I can't make this question too specific, because my favorite song/artist of the moment changes, as you might guess, from one moment to the next. I really like M.I.A.'s song Karmageddon from her latest album. Iggy Azalea is obviously amazing. And I made a seriously lovely playlist on the spotify. It's called "It's that thing where a tiny milk man breaks into a cat infested lodge" in homage to Stephon on Weekend Update. I know that the stuff you make is always inherently better to your own self than to others (not unlike childbearing), but this playlist seems like a universal love-thing.



3. Favorite phrase. I cannot stop saying "Whateva Banana." I don't know what it means, but I love it. I'm going to make t-shirts and coffee mugs, don't you fret. It is my "fetch."

4. Favorite clothery. Scarves. Beanies. Boots. Winter is here and I am pumped like a pimp. A warm, cozy, adorable pimp.

5. Favorite hobby. Video editing is fun. I would have never ever thought that would be my thing, but I can't get enough of it. I took the wrong sorts of classes in cooollege. Whateva banana, ya know? And reading. I'm reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas because I'm in search of the American Dream. Lulllz jkjk. But seriously, I aspire to be Hunter S. Thompson.



6. Favorite mind-grow. Ooh, that's a fun way to talk about learning/knowledge building things...mind-grow. It's like I'm in 1984, eh? Anywho, I love the YOUTUBE. Sex+ is incredible. Vlogbrothers, obviously. Pixiwoo still. Sonia's Travels cuz SPAIN in 40 days! And then, anything I can watch about video, sound, editing, camerawork, and things of that persuasion is dollar signs amazing.

I have quickly learned that having a static existence is literally the most terrifying thing I can imagine. If I had a job where I did the same things every day and all I could do was sit idle as I wasted away in an office doing menial tasks, sinking deeply into a cushioned chair until my ass became one with the polyester, working with a tired mind, muddled with monotony... death by routine. That's a thing.

As long as I keep growing, keep expanding, keep learning, I'll be okay.




Thursday, November 7, 2013

Thursday, bitches.

It's Thursday here on WEIRD KARATE, and you know what that means! Karate Kid is not as cool, sassy, or as wearable as Grace Helbig. And for that, I offer NO apology. Lol for days. I am extremely apologetic; however, I do ask that you stick around for this groundbreaking post. Let's jump right in! Knees first! What? I don't know.

Me and my friend, Lola.

1. I am constantly craving bloody mary's. I think it's just the sodium and full bodied awesomeness? I don't question it. Sometimes, you just have to trust your body and its needs, mom.

2. My cat is getting a winter coat. So, he looks plump and extra fluffy. And I like both of those things about him.

3. My favorite color for early winter is that raspberry-maroon color that everyone and their grandma is carrying. I AM MERELY A PUPPET OF TRENDS.

4. I like putting cool shit on my face... Makeup-wise. Watch some pixiwoo videos on the youtube. You'll be like BRITISH. And then you'll be like OKAY GIRL, YOU DO SOME GOOD MAKEUP.

5. I do weird things for my job. If you would have told me 5, shit even 1 year ago, that part of my job would consist of filming and editing videos, I would have shot you in the face with my witchcraft abilities. Oops, someone has been watching American Horror Story.

Alright, I think that's good for the day. THANKS for your time and things. Go watch some of my horse videos if you want. I'd prefer you watch Scrunchie Time, but girl, I get it. You get yo bloody mary where you need it. I'm going to stop writing. Goodbye and good riddance.



-KARATE BITCH